How did I receive brain damage?

Well that is a long story

Brain damage is one of the most difficult experiences I have been through in my lifetime. But it is one I would never change. All the experiences I have had in my life are just part of life. Especially as 1 in 2, survivors of domestic abuse may live with a brain injury according to Headway UK.

Life throws us many different battles and challenges. As it wants to push us to see our strengths. The strength you have to have to recover from brain damage is one you will be very proud of.

My name is Chantel Prince. I was born and raised in the U.K. and spent my early years in a beautiful town called Bournemouth. But now I spend my later years in a wonderful country called Cambodia.

I love Cambodia, its people and its animals even more than I love cheese and that is saying a lot.

I had the typical upbringing in Bournemouth. Hanging out with friends, going to watch Bournemouth play football, working at a top hair salon, and then owning my salon. But I never felt happy, until I left and moved to Cambodia.

When I was younger, I thought I knew it all and that I was invincible. At 53 I realise I do not know it all and I never will. Also, I am not invincible.

One night

In Cambodia

One night I was getting ready to go on a first date with my ex-girlfriend.  We had been split up for about three or four months. The reason I was going on this date was because she had phoned me. She said she could not live without me. She was lonely and needed me. She missed her family and she was going to kill herself.

As I have always cared about others I wanted to help her. But the moment she opened her front door a chill went down my spine. She was wearing a dress and she never wore a dress.

About that night I will not go into it, as it involved her dishing out the usual abuse. But this night ended in blackness for me.

What is your name?

“Chantel”

My name was the first thing that was said to me when I woke up from my coma. I remember almost spitting out the word Chantel. How could anyone think I would not know my name? Then the blackness.

It was twelve years ago that I ended up with brain damage, after that fateful night. I had an epidural haematoma in the right temporal with a midline shift to the left side, a retinal haemorrhage of the right orbit, a fractured temporal bone, a fractured parietal bone and a pneumothorax.

I had a craniotomy to remove the blood clot which had pushed my brain to one side, drains put into my lung and my scalp stapled.

Coma

When I regained consciousness from my coma, I had brain damage. I had no short-term memory, no sense of direction, no concept of time and was paralysed down my left side.

I couldn’t carry a conversation as I could barely even talk. I felt like I had duct tape over my mouth and all these feelings and emotions inside my head I could not be put into words.

During my time in the hospital, I received so much support from my friends, family and the community. People I didn’t even know were friends would go out of their way to come and see me.

My mom and dad were constantly by my side in the hospital, doing everything for me and so was my ex-girlfriend.

Sadly

My parents were abused

My mum and dad were devastated when they first saw me. They had just arrived from the UK and it was my mum’s birthday. The changes and the abuse they suffered from my ex-girlfriend after I woke up from my coma almost destroyed them. Luckily they have inner strength too.

During my recovery, I did not have the intense cognitive therapy that you would get in a Western country.  I did it all on my own and with some help and abuse from my ex-girlfriend.

For a long time, I didn’t feel comfortable doing a lot of things on my own. I had such fear. I couldn’t be on my own. I wanted to move back to my mom and dad’s house and get away from my ex-girlfriend. But I had no voice.

I would struggle to even say a word and would ask people for the first letter of the word. So that I could work out the rest.  A word like “dog” I couldn’t even work out that. I had gone back to being a child.

I was very timid about trying to put all my thoughts and emotions into words and complete sentences. I would say something and then wonder, “Did that make any sense? What did I just say?” And sometimes I would be making sense, but I would doubt myself anyway.

Strength

Throughout my whole life, one of my strengths was communication, understanding words, listening to words and knowing how to express myself with them. But that had gone.

I was so frustrated and confused on the inside. Self-expression, communication, and creativity — all my former strengths, became my weaknesses. I had the vocabulary of a child. None of my friends or family ever said anything to make me feel bad about my condition, but I just remember the looks on their faces.

I was the only person who knew it wasn’t permanent. It could have been, though. But I was determined for it not to be and to get better. I was so adamant about doing the exercises to recondition my brain.

Especially once I found out my ex had me dosed up on tramadol every 4 hours. Which meant she could control me even more. Sadly, when she found out I took myself off tramadol she locked me in the house and stabbed me in the hand.

I can do it

From the moment I was born, I always wanted to do things my way. When I was four I wanted to tie my shoes, dress myself, and make my food. I didn’t want any help.

And that was very much in keeping with what I thought when the doctors gave me exercises to do.  I thought “Get out of my way, you’re not helping me, you’re pushing me down and trying to tell me what to do.” I saw them as a roadblock on my path. Even though I couldn’t verbalize it as well as I could when I was five. But I still was the same person in my head.

I had zero short-term memory at the beginning, and it took me about 10 years to feel normal again. To feel comfortable communicating with people and trusting people. But that only came about when I decided that was all out of my control but my life is in my control.

When I spoke to my ex-girlfriend’s sister 5 years ago she told me her sister had tried to kill me. That the town was all lied to from the moment I woke up from my coma. That nearly destroyed me, but only for a while. Your brain is amazing and can heal anything if you set your mind to it.

The brain is a muscle, you have to exercise it. I have always loved exercise and luckily I was so addicted to it that gave me the strength to survive.

During recovery, I had to work so hard to pay back the money I borrowed for my “Accident.” In a way I never had before, I had two jobs and was working 7 days a week.

It was very humbling. I learned how to apply myself. It was my first introduction to the mind-body connection because my physical symptoms were healing faster than anyone realized they would.

I remember sitting in the shop and I felt something going on in my brain. A physical sensation, like it was moving. I don’t know whether it was the swelling going down or what, but it was the weirdest feeling.

Awakening to a new me

Over the years after the accident, I realized a lot about life and myself. I learned how to listen to my body even more, and I now fully understand what it needs. I also learned how to persevere, and that with perseverance, anything is possible.

The same mind-body connection that powered my recovery from brain damage has helped me to overcome any physical challenges. It also has pushed me to learn even more. I wound up studying psychology and becoming an Emotional Intelligence life coach.

Today I teach online and volunteer teaching English too. I also help the local street dogs, cats and their owners to understand how to look after animals. I walk around my village every day and once a month I give free dog medicine to stop, ticks mange and worms. As I love to pay it forward.

Take away

The entire experience with brain damage and abuse helped me find my true path, which is to motivate and inspire other people. I had a lot of time to think about things during my recovery, and I knew I was being given a second chance at life.

I went from being a typical “It’s all about me” person, to finding my purpose, which is to help others. My story became my tool to inspire. I share it to let other people know, you can overcome anything … no matter what.