Dissociating

Dissociation is a psychological phenomenon when someone feels detached from themselves or reality. This disconnection is between your sensory experience. Dissociating is a disconnection from your thoughts, yourself, and even your personal history.

For instance, many people will feel a sense of unreality. Thus they can even lose their connection to a time, a place, and even their own identity.

It is important to realize that dissociation disrupts the four normal areas of functioning. These functions are normally automatic for most people.  To illustrate these functions are

• Identity

• Consciousness

• Self-awareness and awareness of surroundings

• Memory

Without a doubt, if there is a disruption in any of these normal functions this is what causes the symptoms of dissociation. What’s more, dissociation can come in many different forms. From a mild sense of detachment to a more severe disconnection from reality.

My first dissociation

My first dissociation episode was when I was 7 years old. I was in the school playground. Some boys had pinned me down on the floor. One boy was trying to take my knickers off. Thus I was motionless, said and did nothing.

Firstly I didn’t realise I was dissociating at that time. Secondly, it was never mentioned again. So how could I work out what was happening? Now that I am aware of what dissociating is due to having help for my bulimia.

I suffered a lot from dissociating when I was suffering from bulimia. This was because I would not accept I had a problem.

Not accepting

Does this sound familiar?

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Dissociating is a lot more common than you’d think it is. My dissociative episodes are still around today. They usually only last for a few seconds at a time. This is because I can control what’s happening. But that doesn’t make them any less scary.

Physically, I feel like I am not in this world. My skin starts to sweat and tingle. I feel panic and find it hard to breathe. My heart races and I feel blank. I don’t feel in the present time. It is like I’m above or next to what is happening. I must be careful to control this otherwise it leads to panic attacks.

I’ve been told that my face goes blank. Also, I repeat the same thing. I sometimes even get a distant look in my eyes.

According to Mind UK, many people will experience at least one dissociative episode in their lives. Mind UK also says that dissociation most often develops as a way for people to deal with trauma. Trauma can also lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

I’ve realised I have always dissociated. Usually, for me, it happens whenever I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by what was happening around me. Particularly when I talk about events from the past, like my brain damage. But there are many other reasons why people dissociate. Dissociation doesn’t just happen after a traumatic event. You can also have non-trauma-related dissociation.

So what happens?

I am sure you have heard of the “fight or flight” response. You know those times when you are under extreme stress? Your heart starts to race, and your breathing gets heavier and faster. Then your body releases a mass amount of adrenaline. This is your body getting you ready to flee.

Well, dissociating is a little bit more than the fight or flight response. It’s your brain’s way of being able to deal with an injury you have received or are feeling. The fight or flight prepares us to flee from danger. Like when I wanted to escape from the abuse I was suffering at the hands of a narcissist after my brain damage.

But dissociation is our body’s way of shutting down. It allows us to play dead. This shutdown makes it almost impossible to move or speak. Our emotions become numb, and our body has prepared us for shock.

What does it feel like?

For instance, feelings are different for everyone and dissociation can happen to anyone. It makes no difference in age, gender, or ethnicity. Hence the effects of dissociation and dissociative disorders can be difficult to pinpoint. You can not pinpoint exactly as they differ so much from person to person.

We all have different brain patterns. So that means all our symptoms are different. Firstly some people will space out. They may even enter a trance-like state. Secondly, others will be filled with rage.

Be aware

Dissociation will affect the way you think, feel and behave

If you are already aware of your dissociation that is good. As it’s important to handle it straight away. Handle this with the right techniques though.

If you are not aware then it’s important to get help. Tell someone as soon as possible if you are experiencing any of the symptoms listed below.

• Feeling numb or having no emotions

• Feeling like you are not in your body

• Having memory gaps

• Forgetting important information about yourself

• Feeling as if there is someone else inside of you

• Feeling as if the world around you isn’t real

• Explicitly referring to yourself as “We” rather than “I”

• People have told you that you have behaved out of character

What are the triggers?

Dissociating

There are many different types of dissociation. This means many other things will cause an episode.

These triggers can be

• Stressful situations

• A lack of sleep

• Low blood sugar

• An emotional memory

Is there anything you can do to stop?

Dissociation

There are a lot of things you can do to reduce the severity of dissociative episodes and help you deal with them when having an episode.

Here is a list

1. First, you must seek medical help.
2. Fix your mind on something. In my case I fix my mind on the chair I am sitting on or the floor I am standing on.

Some strategies that you can use to help cope with stress and anxiety that might trigger dissociation include:

• Getting adequate sleep each night

• Using relaxation strategies to help you cope with stress

• Getting regular physical exercise