How are we supposed to live?

Perseverance makes us live. The question of how are we supposed to live has been asked for centuries and even dates back to the Stoics.

Sometimes moments in life are thrown at us to challenge us. Sometimes we are told to just persevere and put up with it.

What does perseverance mean?

“Ask, ‘Why is this so unbearable? Why can’t I endure it?’ You’ll be embarrassed to answer.” — Marcus Aurelius

Cambodians are living proof of what perseverance means. Cambodians have a strength that I have not seen in many other cultures.

Cambodians do not blame others, they do not want everyone to feel sorry for them. They keep going no matter what life throws at them, they will persevere. As for Cambodians, today is another day.

So take note, step outside the box and look around. You will see the beauty of the world. Wake up with a smile as yet again you have lived another day. So let’s help to change your life now.

But you may be thinking what are 5 examples of perseverance? Well, let’s find out.

1 – Accept your fate

“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happens the way it happens: then you will be happy.” – Epictetus

Hard times in life allow you to show the real you. So, enjoy and embrace the hardships of life.

Learn to love your fate and enjoy every single moment of life, even the hardships. They are there for a reason, one you may never know why. But the universe decided it was there for you at that time.

In these recent days, our existence seems to be rare. So enjoy that you are still here.

You have already beaten many things that tried to destroy you. It is now time to live, as even your suffering is rare and beautiful. My suffering from brain damage ended, and so can yours.

Accepting your fate does not mean that you are happy that bad things happen to you. It just means you are accepting that struggling is part of existing.

2 – Do not complain

“Everything that happens is either endurable or not. If it’s endurable, then endure it. Stop complaining. If it’s unendurable… then stop complaining. Your destruction will mean its end as well. Just remember: you can endure anything your mind can make endurable, by treating it as in your interest to do so. In your interest, or in your nature.” — Marcus Aurelius

In life, you can either persevere or you cannot. Complaining does not make anything any better or easier. It usually makes you look worse than if you had said nothing at all.

By all means, feel emotions, and confide in a friend. But do not tell yourself you will fail and do not tell anyone else they will too. Do not tell anyone what you think is the right way. By all means, give options for them to choose from.

Complaining makes everything harder to put up with. You can put up with anything if you accept that you can put up with it.

If you allow yourself to complain you are only destroying yourself, not others. You may get through the situation by complaining but you will not be left feeling good.

To exercise virtue in the face of adversity, we must have control over our minds. 

Whatever the problem is, it is not the end of the world.

3 – Live life

“Never say of anything, ‘I have lost it’ but, ‘I have returned it.’ Is your child dead? It is returned…Is your estate taken away? Well, and is not that likewise returned? ‘But he who took it away is a bad man.’ What difference is it to you who the giver assigns to take it back?” — Epictetus 

Do not take things personally, as nothing has been taken from you. This universe existed way before you and will exist way after you.

All difficulties end and we will end.  The only thing we can do is understand that we will end. So live for the now, and stop complaining.

Do not just sit there and complain. Accepting hardships is part of learning, and living.

4 – Do not put things off

“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune’s control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.” — Seneca 

Seneca is reminding us that we do have little control over our lives. By putting something off we are only allowing our suffering to gain full control over us. If you work on not putting things off you will gain full control. Follow your dreams.

I try and follow my dreams, As one day I know my dreams will happen.

I understand when you are struggling you want to give up. You may even get used to the struggles and put up with them. You may even start to give up and stop striving for a happy life. But that is not acceptable.

Remember you can either persevere or stop. Either way, you are dying one day. To persevere is power.

A difficult time in life can end because we make it end or we just die.  We do have control over suffering. We have control over making our suffering end.

5 – Stop torturing yourself

“We suffer not from the events in our lives, but from our judgment about them.” — Epictetus 

Perhaps even our suffering is self-inflicted. When difficulties in life happen we can take it personally. But take accountability for what caused the suffering, as you can do that without suffering.

Instead of saying. “I lost my bag because I was stupid. “

Change that thought into “ I lost my bag because I forgot about it.”

The difference here is the first sentence is giving judgment. The second sentence is telling facts. You will suffer less when you rationally think about why something happened.

Calling yourself stupid or anyone else stupid does not solve the problem. It just makes us or others feel even worse.

Things happen in life because they were meant to happen. If you recognise that many things are not your fault this gives you the courage to act.

Take away

When you enter the fight or flight mode when times get tough. Do not go into survival mode. Take a deep breath, and show your virtue by not giving up and walking away.

The universe sent this problem for you to deal with. Life will only get better for you and others when you deal with it.