So why do we smoke?
In our culture, tobacco use often comes across as glamorous or completely normal, especially when we see celebrities casually puffing away on screen. It’s easy to think, “Well, if they’re doing it, it can’t be that harmful, can it?” After all, cigarettes are everywhere—on shop shelves, in films, plastered across billboards. But just because they’re readily available, does that really mean they’re safe?
We’ve all heard the warnings—cancer, heart disease, lung problems. But then again, they say you can get cancer from eating bacon too, so how bad can smoking actually be? Especially when you hear those stories. You know the ones: my friend’s uncle smoked like a chimney and lived to 90 without so much as a cough. Or someone’s aunt who never touched a cigarette but got lung cancer out of the blue. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it? If not everyone who smokes gets sick, can it really be that dangerous?
So, why should you decide to smoke or not? At the end of the day, that’s up to you. It’s about weighing up the information, considering the risks and benefits, and deciding what matters most. Your health, your lifestyle, your values—they all play a part in this choice.
For me, I knew I wanted to stop smoking for good. But how? Become a monk? It felt impossible.
How It All Started
I started smoking at 15, and like so many others, it was a decision driven by the desire to fit in. Back then, cigarettes seemed like the thing the “cool” kids did. And there was this girl—one of the popular ones at school—who smoked.
She happened to be my friend, though not by choice. Our parents were friends, so we were thrown together. Funny how those things work, isn’t it?
This girl was undeniably attractive, and in my teenage eyes, smoking only added to her allure. At that age, appearances were everything, and I wanted to emulate that image of beauty and confidence. Looking back, I realise now that my desire to fit in and look a certain way didn’t stop at smoking. It also led me down another harmful path—bulimia. It’s strange, isn’t it, how one insecurity can feed into another?
Starting smoking wasn’t just about wanting to be cool. It was about seeking acceptance and chasing an idealised version of beauty and popularity.
But my parents found out I was smoking
My parents discovered I was smoking through the neighbourhood grapevine. Back then, neighbours looked out for each other, and one of them tipped off my friend’s mum, who then told my mum. It’s almost quaint, really, how closely-knit communities could be, especially when it came to keeping an eye on teenagers.
For my parents, who had never smoked and had strong opinions about it, this was a big deal. My mum, in particular, would always tell the story of the one time she tried smoking with her friend Tina when they were young. They coughed so hard after a single puff from Tina’s grandad’s cigarette that they never touched it again. For them, smoking was one of the worst things I could have been caught doing—though they had no idea there were other troubles ahead, like the time I nearly died.
After they found out, coming home became an ordeal. They’d check my breath and even search my bags. What they didn’t know was how resourceful I’d become in covering up my habit. It’s funny, isn’t it, how secrets and the lengths we go to keep them can shape our relationships?
How did I cover it all up
Covering up my smoking habit became a well-practised routine. I carried a toothbrush and toothpaste everywhere, using them to freshen up on the walk home. Minty chewing gum was a must. To avoid smelling like smoke, I’d wash my hands at an outside tap using the soap I carried with me. Enduring icy water in winter wasn’t pleasant, but I was determined to keep my habit hidden.
Sometimes, I’d stash cigarettes outside the house or leave them in my friend’s bag. Her parents didn’t mind her smoking—they smoked themselves. As I got older, I started to want to quit. I’d play mind games with myself, setting rules like only smoking after work. That worked for a while, until I’d suddenly find myself smoking during work hours, especially if a friend joined me out the back while our clients were having their hair shampooed.
Smoking became a social bond. Lighting up a cigarette gave us a reason to gather and linger, especially if you had a difficult client next. For me, smoking wasn’t just about the nicotine—it was about joining in with friends who smoked, sharing stories and conversations that flowed more easily in those moments. It created a sense of camaraderie, a shared experience that seemed to bridge gaps and build connections.
Looking back, I realise now how powerful and pervasive the social aspect of smoking was. It wasn’t just about addiction or habit—it was about the human need for connection and belonging, even if it came with a harmful habit attached.
Deciding to quit
This time for good
I decided to switch from cigarettes to weed instead. At the time, it seemed like a cooler and healthier alternative. And I wasn’t entirely wrong—after all, there’s medical marijuana now. But the transition wasn’t as straightforward as I’d hoped. Even though I aimed to cut back by switching to weed, the joints still contained tobacco, which meant I ended up consuming more than I intended.
What started as one joint a night quickly escalated to three, or even seven. It wasn’t any better for my health.
I tried setting targets for myself, like rewarding myself with something new if I could abstain from smoking for a year. But those goals often fell through. Despite my intentions, I’d end up buying whatever I wanted anyway, regardless of whether I’d successfully cut back on smoking. It became clear that my attempts to control my habits through rewards and substitutions weren’t working. Quitting altogether would require a different approach.
Living in Cambodia
A Difficult Place to Quit
When I first arrived in Cambodia, I was captivated by its beauty, affordability, and rich culture. The architecture, the people, the wildlife—it was all enchanting. But it was also a place where smoking felt almost inevitable. In the old days, cigarettes were 25 cents a pack, beers cost 50 cents, and the food was deliciously cheap. It felt like it was cheaper to smoke than not. Add to that the fact that a beer cost 50 cents while water was $1, and you can see why resisting the urge to smoke became an even bigger challenge.
Despite falling in love with the country, I found myself struggling with the temptation to smoke. It wasn’t until I became a dive master that reality set in. The practical challenges of smoking on a boat—soggy cigarettes, relentless wind—made me question my habit. It was during this time, sitting on one of Cambodia’s islands, that a friend who had successfully quit recommended Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. Intrigued but sceptical, I started reading the book. It took me five years to finish it, but eventually, something clicked.
Allen Carr’s ‘Easy Way to Stop Smoking
Embarking on the journey to quit smoking has been a rollercoaster. Despite numerous attempts, I often found myself slipping back into old habits. But everything changed when I visited Bali. There, amidst the serene beauty and expensive cigarettes, I made a conscious choice to break free. I finally finished reading Allen Carr’s book, and something shifted. His approach—allowing you to smoke while reading—was a revelation. It dismantled the usual barriers and fears associated with quitting, paving the way for a gradual but profound change in mindset.
By the time I finished the book, I felt a clarity and determination I hadn’t experienced before. Carr’s method helped me see smoking not as a pleasure or a crutch, but as a trap. And for the first time, I felt ready to let it go.
How can a book stop you smoking?
I was sceptical at first. How could words on a page change something so deeply ingrained? But Carr’s approach worked because it addressed the psychological aspects of addiction. By the time I finished the book, I felt like I’d never smoked in my life. It wasn’t just about breaking a habit—it was about rediscovering myself and embracing positive change.
Quitting smoking is rarely a linear process, but it’s possible. Sometimes, it takes a book, a trip, or a moment of clarity to finally break free. And when you do, it feels like a new beginning.
Takeaway
Describing the impact Allen Carr’s book had on me is a challenge in itself. It’s a transformation that almost defies words—there’s no easy way to explain what the book does to you. But I do know he uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which is the same approach I had when recovering from bulimia. It’s about rewiring your thoughts, and Carr does this brilliantly.
What struck me most was how effortlessly I transitioned into a smoke-free life. The cravings subsided, and gradually, I stopped noticing people smoking around me. The once-familiar rituals of lighting up became insignificant, replaced by a newfound indifference. Now, I only notice smoking in environments filled with smoke—a stark contrast to my previous hyper-awareness of it.
Reflecting on this journey, I realise Carr’s book didn’t just provide practical tools; it rewired my entire perception of smoking. It’s not just about quitting—it’s about reclaiming control and rediscovering a life untouched by nicotine’s grip. Today, I’m grateful for the liberation the book facilitated. It’s a feeling I wish I could fully articulate—a sense of freedom and a renewed perspective on health and well-being.
If you’re on your own journey to quit, I encourage you to give his book a chance. Sometimes, the most profound changes begin with a single page turned. I truly believe in this book as a way to stop smoking, and I always will. I mean it when I say, “It’s like I’ve never smoked in my life.” One thing I’m 100% certain of is that I’ll never start again.
Tobacco is a drug. It’s a chemical. So why do we do it? I’ve asked myself this question countless times. But now, I know I’ve stopped smoking for good. And if I can do it, so can you.
Recommendations
If you’re ready to take the leap, here are the resources that changed my life:
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Best Life-Changing Audio CD: Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Be a Happy Non-Smoker for the Rest of Your Life
Perfect for those who prefer listening over reading. It’s like having Carr guide you through the process personally. -
Best Life-Changing Book: Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Be a Happy Non-Smoker for the Rest of Your Life
The book that started it all. Simple, straightforward, and incredibly effective.
Quitting smoking isn’t just about breaking a habit—it’s about reclaiming your life. And if a book can help you do that, why not give it a try? You might just find, like I did, that it’s the best decision you’ll ever make.
