So why do we smoke?

In our culture, smoking often appears glamorous or normal, especially when we see celebrities puffing away on screen.

It’s easy to think, “If they do it, it must be harmless, right?” After all, cigarettes are everywhere, on store shelves, in movies, and advertised on billboards. But does their availability mean they’re safe?

We definitely hear about the risks, of cancer, heart disease, and lung problems. But then again, they say you can get cancer from eating bacon too, so how do we really know smoking is that bad?

Especially when there are the personal stories we all have. My friend’s uncle smoked like a chimney and lived to 90 without a cough. Someone’s aunt who never touched a cigarette and got lung cancer out of nowhere.

It makes you wonder, can smoking be all that dangerous, if not everyone who smokes gets sick?

So, why should you decide to smoke or not? Ultimately, that is up to you. It’s about weighing the information, considering the risks and benefits, and deciding what matters most to you. Your health, your lifestyle, your values. They all play a role in this choice.

I know I wanted to  stop smoking for good

But how could I? Become a monk….

 I started smoking at 15 which was a decision influenced by wanting to fit in with the “cool” crowd. Especially since one of the popular girls at school was a smoker.

The cool girl happened to be my friend, albeit not by choice but because our parents were friends. It’s funny how parental friendships can dictate our social circles sometimes.

This girl was undeniably attractive, and seeing her smoke somehow added to her allure in my teenage eyes. Back then, appearances meant everything, and wanting to emulate that perceived beauty was a strong motivator for me to start smoking.

Looking back, I realise now that my desire to fit in and look a certain way as a teenager also led me down another harmful path, bulimia. It’s strange how one insecurity can feed into another, isn’t it?

Starting smoking wasn’t just about wanting to be cool,  it was about seeking acceptance and chasing after an idealised image of beauty and popularity.

But my parents found out I was smoking

When my parents found out I was smoking, it was through the grapevine of neighbourhood watchfulness. As in those days, neighbours looked out for each other.

Thus a neighbour tipped off my friend’s mom, who then told my mom. It’s lovely how closely-knit communities can be, especially when it comes to teenagers.

For my parents, who had never smoked and had strong opinions about it, this discovery was a big deal.

My mom, in particular, would always recount the one time she tried smoking with her friend Tina when they were young. They coughed so hard after a single puff from Tina’s grandad’s cigarette that they never touched it again.

For them, smoking was one of the worst things I could have been caught doing, though they wouldn’t realise there were other troubles ahead, like the time I nearly died.

After they found out, coming home became an ordeal. They’d check my breath and even search my bags. What they didn’t know was how resourceful I became in covering up my habit.

It’s strange how secrets and the lengths we go to keep them can shape our relationships.

How did I cover it all up

Covering up my smoking habit became a routine that required a bit of planning and creativity. I carried a toothbrush and toothpaste everywhere, using them to freshen up while walking home. Minty chewing gum was also a must.

To avoid smelling like smoke, I even washed my hands at an outside tap using the soap I carried with me. Enduring icy water in winter was unpleasant, but I was determined to hide my habit.

Sometimes, I stashed cigarettes outside my house or left them in my friend’s bag. Her parents didn’t mind her smoking, as they also smoked.

As I grew older

I wanted to quit. So I played mind games, setting rules like only smoking after work, which worked for a while until I’d suddenly smoke during work hours, especially if a friend joined me out the back while our clients were having their hair shampooed.

Smoking became a social bond. Lighting up a cigarette provided a reason to gather and linger, especially if you had a difficult client next. 

For me, smoking wasn’t just about the nicotine, it was about joining in with friends who smoked, sharing stories and conversations that flowed more easily in those moments.

It created a sense of camaraderie and belonging, a shared experience that seemed to bridge gaps and create connections.

It was almost as if the act of smoking itself became a form of social currency, a way to break down barriers and build relationships.

Looking back, I realise now that the social aspect of smoking was powerful and pervasive. It wasn’t just about addiction or habit, it was about the human need for connection and belonging, even if it came with a harmful habit attached.

Deciding to quit

This time for good 

Mmmmm, I decided I would switch from smoking cigarettes to smoking weed instead. I thought it was a cooler and seemingly healthier alternative. Which I was not that wrong about, as now there is medical marijuana. 

I used to think many thoughts when I was younger. My main was when I was 15 and I told my friends China would take over the world.  They all laughed at me. This may have been because we were all stoned.

The nights spent playing board games and laughing together felt carefree and enjoyable.

However, the transition wasn’t as straightforward as I had hoped. Even though I aimed to smoke less by switching to weed, the joints still contained tobacco, which led me to smoke more than I intended.

What started as one joint a night quickly escalated to three or even seven, a habit that wasn’t any better for my health.

Yet again I tried setting targets for myself, like rewarding myself with something new if I could abstain from smoking for a year.

Unfortunately, these goals often fell through. Despite my intentions, I would end up buying whatever I wanted anyway. Regardless of whether I had successfully cut back on smoking.

It became clear that my attempts to control my smoking habits through rewards and substitutions were not effective in the long term.

It was a realisation that quitting smoking altogether would require a different approach and commitment. Thus I decided to not give up.

Living in Cambodia

Very difficult to stop smoking here

When I first arrived in Cambodia, drawn by its allure and affordability, I found myself deeply captivated by its rich culture. The architecture was breathtaking, the people warm and welcoming, and the natural beauty simply enchanting.

However, amidst this fascination, I also discovered the haunting history that has shaped this beautiful and resilient nation.

In the old days, cigarettes were 25 cents per pack. Paired with beers costing just 50 cents and delectably inexpensive food, the allure of smoking seemed affordable.

It felt that it was cheaper to smoke than not. Add to the fact a beer costs 50 cents and water is $1.

Now you know why resisting the urge to smoke became an even bigger challenge in Cambodia.

If you’re curious about Cambodian cuisine, check out my blog where I delve into the delicious dishes you must try. It might just inspire you to cook it yourself or plan a trip to savour the flavours firsthand.

Despite falling in love with the country’s landscapes, its people, and its unique wildlife, navigating the temptation to smoke became a personal struggle.

Dive master

As a dive master, however, reality set in. The practical challenges of smoking on a boat, dealing with soggy cigarettes and battling relentless wind, made me question my habit.

It was during this time while sitting on one of the islands of Cambodia that a friend, who had successfully quit, recommended Allen Carr’s easy way to stop smoking. 

Intrigued but sceptical after failed attempts with other methods, I embarked on reading Carr’s book over the course of five years.

Despite Carr’s assertion that I could continue smoking while reading the book, I still struggled to finish the book.

My friend had found something in Carr’s approach that clicked, but for me, it remained elusive.

My Experience

 Allen Carr’s ‘Easy Way to Stop Smoking

Embarking on the journey to quit smoking has been nothing short of a rollercoaster for me. Despite numerous attempts to quit, I often found myself slipping back into old habits, unsure if I truly wanted to let go of smoking.

However, everything changed when I decided to visit Bali. There, amidst the serene beauty and expensive cigarettes, I made a conscious choice to break free. Equipped with a Kindle to ease my mind and a determination to embrace a healthier lifestyle, I found solace in reading by the pool with a refreshing gin and tonic in hand.

It was during these tranquil moments that I finally decided to finish reading Allen Carr’s book on quitting smoking. I could not work out why I could continue smoking while reading the book, this concept intrigued me.

My fiancé, who also quit using Allen Carr’s book found inspiration in Carr’s advice to have his last cigarette in a meaningful place. For me, Bali itself became that meaningful place, a symbol of new beginnings and the start of a smoke-free life.

Reflecting on my journey, I realised that quitting smoking isn’t just about breaking a habit. It is about rediscovering oneself and embracing positive change. Bali became more than just a destination, it became a pivotal moment of self-discovery and transformation.

How can a book stop you smoking?

When I first started to deeply think about this book. I was sceptical like many others. How could words on a page change something so deeply ingrained? Yet, as I immersed myself in Carr’s insights, something clicked. Perhaps it was the persistence of reading half of it multiple times or simply the right moment for his message to resonate deeply within me.

Carr’s approach, allowing readers to continue smoking while reading, which was a revelation. It dismantled the usual barriers and fears associated with quitting, paving the way for a gradual but profound change in mindset. By the time I completed the book, I felt a sense of clarity and determination that I hadn’t experienced before.

Allen Carr also says that some people will not quit after reading the book once and you must read it again. I was lucky I quit after one time. Maybe because I had read half of it 4 or 5 times. Or maybe just because what he said sunk in. That I will also never know. What I do know is it feels like I have never smoked in my life.