Weight | 1 Reason Why You Should Stop Focusing on It

Nearly everyone has an issue with weight

Usually at some time in their life

Weight and appearance are something nearly everyone grapples with at some stage. Losing weight can make you feel elated, as though you’re on top of the world. On the other hand, gaining weight can lead to feelings of despair, making life seem less worthwhile.

The constant cycle of wanting to shed pounds quickly if you gain them, or searching for ways to gain weight back fast if you lose it, is a struggle many of us know all too well.

It’s a sad reality that society often places undue emphasis on weight and appearance, creating a pedestal that can feel impossible to live up to.

So, how did I personally stop worrying about weight and looks? It wasn’t easy, and it certainly didn’t happen overnight. It took me years of introspection and effort to shift my focus away from the pressures of weight and appearance.

In the past, my life was all about weight

Needless to say, I had a few eating problems

Needless to say, I had a few eating problems.

My struggle with body image began with anorexia, but unfortunately, it went unnoticed because I appeared thin to most people. Later, I faced bulimia nervosa, which didn’t help me lose weight or feel better about myself, as some might assume. Instead, it caused weight gain and deepened my negative feelings.

My body consciousness started early, influenced by parents who also had their own issues with body image. Additionally, experiences of abuse further complicated my relationship with food and self-perception.

I tried to control my diet by avoiding processed foods, except during binge-eating episodes when I didn’t care. Exercise was always part of my routine, and I constantly scrutinised myself in the mirror.

During my years as a hairdresser, I was surrounded by magazines in the salon. I eagerly flipped through them whenever I could, even multitasking while attending to clients. We discussed the latest trends and styles from these magazines, but we rarely acknowledged how they made us feel about ourselves.

The culture of comparison and unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in these magazines often exacerbated my struggles. It took me a long time to realise the impact they had on my self-esteem and well-being.

I would feel ugly

Then worthless

Feelings are at the core of our identity and can profoundly influence how we perceive ourselves. It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to the idealised images of skinny supermodels and celebrities plastered across magazines, TV screens, and everyday advertisements.

These images, however, present a distorted reality. They are meticulously edited with Photoshop, creating an illusion of flawless skin, perfect hair, and an unrealistically slim physique. We’re bombarded with these images everywhere we turn—on the subway, buses, and even at the supermarket checkout line. It’s no wonder many of us feel inadequate or pressured to conform to these unattainable standards.

The pervasive nature of these images fosters a culture where we believe we must look a certain way to be considered attractive or valuable. Yet, it’s important to recognise that these are fantasies, not reflections of genuine human diversity.

Instead of fixating on these unrealistic ideals, we must focus on embracing our unique qualities and practising self-acceptance. Learning to love ourselves helps cultivate a positive relationship with our bodies.

By prioritising genuine self-care, surrounding ourselves with positive influences, and celebrating diversity in all its forms, we can reclaim our sense of worth beyond superficial appearances. Let’s shift the narrative towards promoting authenticity, inner strength, and genuine self-love.

Together, we can redefine beauty on our own terms and inspire others to do the same.

Are looks everything?

In today’s society, it often feels like appearance takes centre stage, overshadowing the importance of simply being ourselves. The pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards leads many to opt for procedures like Botox, breast enhancements, and even cosmetic surgeries at increasingly young ages. This trend reflects a deep-seated societal emphasis on physical appearance over inner qualities.

Why are young people feeling inadequate about their appearance at such tender ages? The influence of movie stars, models, and influencers plays a significant role. We’re bombarded with questions and insecurities about our bodies:

• Do you look too skinny or too fat?

• Is your nose big or small?

• Are your breasts too big or too small?

• Are your genitals the right size?

• Do you fit into society’s labels?

• Are your legs too long or too short?

This obsession with external appearance pulls us away from simply living and enjoying life. Hours are spent staring into screens, comparing ourselves to airbrushed images, and critiquing others’ appearances. The “black mirror” of social media exacerbates these feelings of inadequacy, creating a constant cycle of comparison and self-doubt.

It’s time to challenge these norms and reclaim our sense of self-worth beyond physical appearance. True beauty lies in diversity, uniqueness, and embracing our individuality. Instead of striving for unattainable ideals, let’s prioritise inner qualities like kindness, intelligence, and authenticity.

By shifting our focus from the external to the internal, we can foster a culture of self-acceptance and empowerment. Let’s celebrate who we are, embrace our differences, and live authentically without the weight of unrealistic expectations.

Together, let’s break free from the “black mirror” and redefine what it means to truly be ourselves.

A day trip to London

Changed me

It was during a day trip to London that my perspective on beauty and media portrayal shifted dramatically. The catalyst? A chance encounter with supermodel Elle MacPherson.

Seeing Elle MacPherson in person was eye-opening. Contrary to the flawless images splashed across magazines and screens, she looked like any other person walking down the street. She was tall and slim, yes, but not the unnaturally skinny figure often depicted.

Her skin had imperfections, including spots and texture—not the smooth, airbrushed perfection we’re accustomed to seeing.

What struck me most was her height. As a tall person myself, I found it refreshing to see someone I could look up to rather than down upon.

This encounter prompted me to delve deeper into how images in magazines, TV shows, and films are created. I learned about the significant role Photoshop plays in manipulating these images to fit unrealistic standards of beauty.

While Photoshop undoubtedly enhances images and plays a positive role in creative industries, it also has a darker side. The same tool that creates “perfect” images can perpetuate damaging ideals and impact individuals’ self-esteem.

It’s essential to recognise the dual nature of Photoshop. It can both enhance and distort reality. Understanding its influence helps us navigate the media landscape with a more critical eye and a healthier perspective on beauty.

If you’re unfamiliar with Photoshop and its capabilities, I encourage you to learn more about this powerful tool and how it shapes the images we consume. [Explore Photoshop further.]

Let’s continue to celebrate authenticity and diversity, embracing our imperfections as part of what makes us uniquely beautiful.

Magazines

After learning about the impact of media and Photoshop on self-esteem, I made a firm decision. When we opened our hair shop, we would never display magazines that contributed to negative body image.

My motivation was simple yet profound. I never wanted anyone else to experience the pressures and insecurities I had felt about my appearance. I had struggled with body image issues and had battled with eating disorders, and I knew firsthand the damaging effects of societal standards of perfection.

Clients came to our salon not just to look good but to feel good about themselves. Yet, many magazines portrayed unrealistic ideals of beauty that no amount of hairstyling or makeup could achieve. Despite my efforts to work magic with their hair, these images could leave clients feeling inadequate rather than uplifted.

My goal was clear: I wanted every person who walked out of our salon to feel amazing, inside and out. I aimed to create an environment where self-confidence and self-acceptance were nurtured, free from the pressures imposed by unrealistic beauty standards.

In choosing not to display those magazines, I hoped to contribute positively to my clients’ well-being, fostering a space where they could embrace their uniqueness and feel genuinely good about themselves.

Take away

What is perfect?

“What is perfect?” It’s a question many of us grapple with, especially in a world where media shapes our perceptions of beauty and success. Magazines, newspapers, news broadcasts, and films often portray images and stories that seem flawless and idealised. But are these representations truly perfect?

Have you ever encountered a perfect person? I certainly haven’t. If you have, I’d love to meet them because I’m still waiting to meet someone who fits that description.

The truth is, perfection is subjective and elusive. When we scrutinise the images of models and celebrities in magazines, it’s important to remember that what we see is often heavily edited and curated. These individuals may not resemble their magazine photos in real life.

Take Elle MacPherson, for example. When I saw her in person, she was undoubtedly beautiful, but naturally and authentically. She wasn’t adorned with layers of makeup or artificial enhancements. Like most people, she had spots and blemishes—imperfections that make us human.

The quest for perfection in appearance can be damaging, leading to unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction with ourselves. It’s crucial to challenge these ideals and embrace diversity and authenticity instead.

True beauty lies in our uniqueness and our ability to be genuine. Let’s celebrate our imperfections as part of what makes us who we are. By questioning societal standards of perfection and embracing our natural selves, we can redefine what it means to be truly beautiful.

So, next time you see an image in a magazine or on screen, remember that perfection is an illusion. Let’s strive for authenticity and self-acceptance instead.

Recommended Reading

• A book about eating good food: You Are What You Eat: The Plan That Will Change Your Life

• A book about the history of food: The Secret History of Food

• A science book about food: Essentials of Food Science

• A book about intuitive eating: The Intuitive Eating Workbook: Ten Principles for Nourishing a Healthy Relationship with Food

• A book about harmful chemicals and food additives: Toxic Free Diet: Learn How to Reduce Toxic Stress, Foods and Chemicals That Are Making You Fat, Sick and Tired

• A book for helping parents and caregivers: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bulimia

• A book for supporting teens with eating disorders: When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder: Practical Strategies to Help Your Teen Recover from Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binge Eating

• A book for inner healing: Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self